Kyozo Ishikawa: How to Enjoy the Solitude of Old Age

As we age, we increasingly lose things that are irreplaceable. Through retirement, we lose the jobs we once considered an extension of ourselves, and along with them, the human connections of friends and acquaintances made through work. We are struck by tragedies such as the death of a spouse, divorce, or the passing of close relatives and dear friends. Elderly people with such backgrounds are prone to falling into loneliness. The elderly are always standing near the entrance to solitude.

The novel coronavirus disease (COVID-19), which originated mainly in Wuhan, Hubei Province, China, and continues to spread as a pandemic, has been raging for over a year. As preventive measures, in addition to wearing masks and washing hands, there are strong requests to avoid the "Three Cs" (Closed spaces, Crowded places, and Close-contact settings) and to refrain from non-essential outings. It is a fact that this is further thinning the social connections of the elderly, which were already becoming sparse. As a result, environments that induce loneliness are increasing, further encouraging the possibility of progressing toward sarcopenia (a state of decreased muscle mass leading to loss of strength and physical function), frailty (a state where physiological reserve decreases with age, making one prone to health problems), and even cognitive decline. To prevent such a situation, one should thoroughly implement recommended prevention methods while continuing efforts to maintain close human interaction by finding ways to avoid close contact. Talking on the phone or having email conversations via smartphones or computers is good, but I particularly recommend interaction through handwritten letters. Composing sentences activates the brain and has the effect of improving cognitive function. Meanwhile, the recipient of the letter can enjoy the benefit of a calmed heart through the warmth conveyed by the handwriting.

When one is conscious of being lonely, it is a mental and psychological state isolated from the surrounding world, and a certain sense of loneliness is recognized. While solitude often carries a dark image of being abandoned and forgotten by the world, it also has a bright side where one can temporarily leave the harsh reality and spend time freely in a healing virtual space.

When in solitude, a sense of release from the hassles of reality and a feeling of liberation—as if it no longer matters what happens—gradually wells up from within. Because I have memories of such positive developments from solitude, becoming lonely does not bother me that much. Rather, I believe that by placing myself in a state of solitude, I can realign my mental posture.

By being alone, it becomes easier to leave the real world and enter a world of imagination and fantasy. Once I take a step into the mindset of solitude, I wonder what kind of situation I should set for my imaginary scene. Then, various scenes immediately come to mind. Among them, scenes of struggling under painful and difficult circumstances often appear. I then get to savor a feeling of self-praise, thinking that although there were many troublesome things back then, I somehow managed to pull through. When I think that the confidence of having overcome those harsh situations makes my current existence certain, I always feel energized.

Also, when in solitude, the faces of various people come to mind. Many of them are people I can no longer meet. Scenes of being with those people come to mind one after another, and for just a short time, I can immerse myself in memories and spend an enjoyable time.

Solitude is like a study where you can face yourself without being disturbed by anyone and stay alone for as long as you like.

In fact, I often enter a state of solitude when I am in my study, surrendering myself to an easy chair and passing the time. Outside of the study, I often enjoy solitude while taking a stroll near my house. In particular, the solitude I experience while leisurely walking through a forest park about 20 minutes on foot from my house has become an important source of mental peace for me now.

While confined in solitude, it is fine to expose any unsightly version of yourself, and there is no need to put on airs of "having to be a good person." You can just be yourself as you are.

However, if you start to feel so comfortable that you want to stay lonely forever, you should step out of it for the time being. There is no need for a long stay. If you immerse yourself in that comfort indefinitely, you may become unable to escape and eventually fall into a state of social withdrawal. For the elderly, solitude can be both a poison and a medicine. It is essential to maintain a moderate relationship with solitude.

In my recent book, "Solitude in Old Age is a Time for Adventure" (Kawade Shobo Shinsha), I touched upon the joy of adventure in exploring the possibilities of what I can do now in the critical situations that come with old age. Old age is a time for adventure.